Message to my Son Donnelly

I’m still here, missing you so much. My heart aches everyday. When I think of the last time you saw me I cry and my heart sinks because you were saying, “Come on Mommy, let’s go Mommy, me go with Mommy, right Mommy?” and you had the saddest look in your eyes when those evil social workers took you away. You must have been so sad everyday, waiting for us to come get you. Oh my god Donnelly, I am so sorry that happened. I’m getting way to choked up right now I will have to finish this later. I love you so much baby, why do they deny you the love from your real parents? Oh, come on, he’s almost 10! Can’t I see him now?

There is so much I want to tell the people who adopted my son but it seems impossible to get this “Christian” couple to give us the opportunity to show them who we really are. First, there was CPS talking crap about us, then there was me, in court, giving her the evil eye. I should have thought about that a little more. I was hoping to scare her off so that Donnelly would be placed with my sister-in-law. Well, it did not scare her off, it made me look like someone she wouldn’t want to know. Backfire. And I am very sorry about that. I was in custody and desperate.

Then for some reason, when we wrote to them and tried to get them to talk to us, they FREAKED out and filed a restraining order and got it so then we would get arrested if we even attempted to contact them.

Then, another desperate act, I wrote to the adoptive father’s brother, (I will call him “A”) in prison because I knew he was going to be released soon and wanted to make sure he was not going to be around my son. Well, he ended up being completely innocent and I began advocating for his release as they decided to keep him an extra year despite the court having granted him special relief from an illegal act on behalf of the court during sentencing. A spent 11 years in prison for something he didn’t do then they kept him an extra year! We became somewhat friends during that year, we set up a phone account so he could call, I wrote to him and to the prison Warden, the State’s Attorney, his lawyer, and served a habeus corpus filing on his behalf. I chatted with his mother (also the adoptive father’s mother) but she didn’t know who I was even though i had given her my full real name. When he was finally released, he decided that the only friends he had were my husband and I and we offered to help him as much as we could if he chose to live in California (he was in Illinois). Well, he moved out here and we did help him like we promised.. We never asked him for anything, We never asked him to do anything or to speak on our behalf. We did offer all our evidence and he did his homework and came to the realization that we were truly innocent and that the whole removal and adoption was completely unnecessary. He voluntarily gave us updates about how our son was being cared for and maybe what school he went to. We never attempted to interfere with their life whatsoever. But still, we are seen as monsters.

All hope was lost when my own BROTHER, Donald P. Joyce, Jr., went to the adoptive mother’s work and said all kinds of things he had no personal knowledge of, that were completely false based on the manipulation by my other brother, David M. Joyce, who I helped as well when he was released from prison (crimes he was 100% guilty of). Now A’s charges and conviction by plea bargain via intimidation and and absolute bias against him, were those of crimes against children. My brother, being the predjudice mother-effer he is, labeled A a “cho-mo” and refused to believe evidence I put in front of his face that A was innocent, A stopped by once in a while and they seemed to get along. They even smoked some weed together. I did not join them. Dave smokes weed every day and lied to a doctor to get a prescription for it simply because he cannot deal with life sober. Now I was caring for my father, now Dave living with us, who also, without asking, lets his girlfriend move in. They are in the living room on a pull out couch and not getting any privacy because I have the second bedroom. Dave decided to take my room by force and came up with crap and stole from my dad by stealing my dad’s ATM card from my wallet, going to the casino and spending $3000, then telling Don that he thought I had a gambling problem and that he should look over my dad’s bank account! I was accused of all kinds of crap. Fine, I am used to that kind of treatment but to go to my son’s adoptive parents and ruin ANY chance for a sliver of hope to see Donnelly before he turns 18 and can’t remember us at all, that was DESPICABLE AND MEAN AND TOTALLY UNCALLED FOR! Don sent me an email basically telling me to straighten up and he would “put in a good word for us”. WTF? This from Don, the REAL cho-mo (he molested two little girls when he was 18 and was babysitting them. This is the REAL reason we moved from NY to CA), and Dave, the REAL drug addict doing drugs with A, not me!

I wish there was a way convince your adoptive parents to give us an opportunity to tell our side and show them the evidence that they themselves can go down to the court and get right out of the file. Our proof is in the court files but completely ignored by everyone. They claim to be “Christians” or believe in Jesus and all the lessons in the Bible that direct them to do unto others and to not judge people and love thy neighbor and forgive people. Even if it is only in their mind, we deserve forgiveness for things they believe we have done. And we are asking for this forgiveness. We have changed our lives, we are going to church and volunteering our time for the parish. We give 10% of our income to the church. We pray everyday. We refrain from doing drugs, we go to AA and NA and we are 100% clean and sober. We beg for your forgiveness and promise that no harm will come to anyone and we will not try to kidnap our own child.

But this won’t do any good. You are afraid that Donnelly will love us more than you and you are being selfish.

So Donnelly, it seems like fate won’t let us see you. I want to just walk right up to your door but I won’t because I do not want you to see me arrested again! Our ONLY hope is that you somehow find this site, dedicated to you, sometime soon and you demand to see us.